“The wise woman builds her house, but the foolish pulls it down with her hands” – Proverbs 14:1
I think I can safely speak for most of us women when I say that our hearts desire is to build our homes. The last thing we want to be described as is “foolish.” Every time I read this verse, there’s a check in my heart as to where I land on the “wise vs. foolish scale.” How do I measure up today? Am I building my home or tearing it down?
Thankfully, God’s love for us isn’t dependent on where we fall on that scale, but that same love challenges us to strive for more and not settle for foolish.
So, since we clearly don’t want to be tearing down our homes, how do we build them? How do we become the wise woman mentioned in this scripture? I want to encourage you today with some practical ways we can build our homes as children of God, moms, and wives:
1. With our words
Proverbs 14:1 speaks of building a home, but not only a literal one. This woman is building up the people that make up the home. Our words have such great impact on those around us. Proverbs 18:21 says, “The tongue can bring death or life; those who love to talk will reap the consequences.” Our words are so powerful that they can bring life or death! Are we using life-giving words with our families?
Proverbs 31:26 says, “When she speaks, her words are wise, and she gives instructions with kindness.” Doesn’t the Proverbs 31 woman sound lovely? Someone who is thoughtful with her words and really speaks in a manner that would benefit those she is speaking to. Now that’s the kind of woman I want to be!
We can build our homes by simply watching our words and thinking twice before we speak to our littles or our husband. Our words can either build up or tear down. Let’s use them to build!
2. Having a thankful heart
One of my biggest prayers for my boys is that they would grow up to always be thankful. I say this because I know that if they are always thankful, their perspective will always be where it should be. Since being thankful is not natural to us, we are commanded to do it in Scripture. Our natural tendency is to have an ungrateful and complaining spirit, but God knows there is so much power in thankfulness!
1 Thessalonians 5:18 commands us, “Be thankful in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you who belong to Christ Jesus.”
So what does being thankful have to do with building our homes?
Proverbs 17:22 says, “A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a broken spirit saps a person’s strength”. I think we can all agree, the last thing a mama needs is less strength! When we are thankful, it’s the proper response to all God has done for us and when we spend our time thinking on all God has done for us? What an amazing way to lift our spirits!
Have you spent time with someone who is negative and bitter? It’s not very fun to be around someone like that, is it? Now, compare that to spending time with someone who is cheerful and thankful. Totally different experience, right? Being thankful is one great way to have a cheerful heart, which in turn builds us up as well as those in our homes!
3. Not being idle
What does it mean to be idle? Idle basically means to spend time doing nothing or nothing of value. We ought to be women who are eager to work with our hands and serve others. We don’t want to be marked by laziness or idleness. All this to say, if most of our time is spent watching TV, going online, or sitting around, we may need to consider how to be more productive in our days. Social media especially, as fun as it is, can be something that eats up our time and this is certainly a way that can tear down our homes.
Proverbs 31:27 says, “She watches over the ways of her household, and does not eat the bread of idleness.” We need to be proactive in our homes, take care of them, and take care of those in them. This may mean starting a to-do list if you don’t already use one. Maybe getting a calendar where you mark down projects that need to get done. By placing value on our home and making sure it’s running smoothly, we are building it!
With that said, as much as being productive is important, we need to make sure we are being productive in all the right areas. This brings me to number four, investing time with our loved ones.
4. Investing time with our loved ones
This one is probably the hardest for me to write about because it can honestly be a struggle to not get caught up with house chores, projects, and things like that. Yes, those things are urgent, but not the most important. Our littles and our husbands need us. It’s that simple. They need all of us, not the distracted and busy version of us. They need our full attention.
Yes, having a clean home is a wonderful thing and yes, we shouldn’t be idle. But at the same time, a squeaky clean home doesn’t have the eternal value our littles and husbands do, they need to come first. This doesn’t mean we throw our to-do list out the window and never clean our homes. In fact, I would argue that an organized home can truly be a blessing to your family and others who enter it. But there’s a balancing act there. It can become a fine line knowing how to prioritize time spent with our family and time getting things done. Each day there are things that need our attention and sometimes it can feel like we are being pulled in a million directions. It can be exhausting. Well, I have the perfect solution for that, seek the Lord daily.
5. Seeking the Lord
When we leave this step out, the others fall apart. We simply can’t do it alone. We need the Lord to direct us each and every day. Oh, the beautiful harmony of seeking the Lord, letting Him direct our steps, and seeing Him work through us!
All the different ways we can build our homes can almost seem to contradict each other. How can one woman possibly balance all these things? We can’t. Every time I find myself in the frustration of “how am I possibly to do it all?” I realize that I’m right where God wants me.
2 Corinthians 12:9 says, “Each time he said, ‘My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.’ So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me.”
We can rest in knowing it’s not all up to us. Yes, we need to be a builder of our homes, but we are not building alone. It might not be an easy prayer, but let’s seek the Lord today and ask Him in what ways we might be tearing down our homes and in what ways we can be building them. He wants the best for us and those in our homes!
I pray you are encouraged today. Please know if you are struggling to build your home today, you’re not alone. If you need prayer or have an encouragement to share, please leave a comment. I’d love to hear from you!
Below I’ve attached a 5 x 7 printable my husband and I worked on together to be an encouragement to you in building your home! You can frame it (like pictured above) or print and put on your fridge or desk. Something to remind you to be building your home every day :) I hope it blesses you!